Can You Say Yes To Happiness : 11 Practical Steps You Can Take To Make It Really Happen 💪🏿💘#motownmom
Think about it … every single thing we do is intended to make us happier.
And yet sometimes we get diverted and do things that actually move us away from this goal.
We all have the potential for genuine happiness. There is no gene or DNA marker that determines who will be happy and who will not. We make choices throughout our lives, and the result of all these choices combined, determines our level of happiness. Make the right choices and happiness can be yours.
Here are just a sampling of some of the tactics we can employ in an 11-point roadmap to help guide us toward genuine happiness:
- Look For The Positive In Everything: There is an old saying that nothing is inherently good or bad—what makes it one or the other, is merely your reaction to it. Find the positive and you will be happier. Those who soar against all odds, do so because they look at the positive that could come out of their situation, how ever bad it may seem to others.
- Accentuate The Positive: We all grow up with a “positivity imbalance”—the result of society’s norms and rules being based on restriction and punishment more than approval and reward. From a young age we are taught what we must not do instead of what we may do. Even in day-to-day life, there is more negative influence that positive. Luckily you can work to improve the balance. Celebrate the positive and work to get more of it. When you achieve something, congratulate yourself! Look for things you find uplifting, that make you happy. Get more of that! At the same time, reduce your exposure to negative input, whether it is the daily news, or people you don’t feel good around. You know your buttons…make sure the positive ones are pushed more than the negative.
- Practice Good Selfishness: When we were young we were taught that putting our interests before those of others is wrong. This is particularly true for women, many of whom sacrifice their dreams and ambitions to help others achieve theirs. It is also common in the corporate world where the good of the company is considered more important than the good of the individual. It is good to help others, yet we should have boundaries to protect ourselves from being manipulated or abused by others. You are important, and if you don’t look after yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually, you cannot expect anyone else to do so.
- Listen To Your Feelings: All feelings are good. Every feeling occurs for a reason: it is delivering a message. Sometimes that message is pleasant, other times not. Our tendency is to distract ourselves from unpleasant feelings, often through smoking, drinking or drugs of one kind or another. When you feel bad, avoid distracting yourself, and identify the reason—there is some need not being met.
- Give Of Yourself: The more you give, the more you receive. There is probably no scientific study proving this to be so, but unconditional giving is hugely rewarding. It seems that the more of yourself you give, the greater the thrill and uplifting effect on your psyche. Help the needy. Give time if you can. Give anonymously, even if you lose the tax deduction!
- Make It Happen: You have the ability to make things happen using your mind. Top sports stars, and business people use it, and so can you. There are many ways of doing this; one of the common methods is to use visualization—getting a picture in your mind of whatever it is that you want to happen. It does not actually have to be a visual picture; it could be a feeling, a smell, a sound, or any combination of the senses. Imagine finding the perfect parking near the entrance as you arrive at the supermarket or mall … the sky is the limit, but persevere! We are not used to utilizing this tool, so it takes practice.
- Accept The Things You Cannot Change: We resist things we don’t like, and often expend a tremendous amount of energy on this resistance. Whilst this can be good, and has resulted in tremendous advances through history, we should work to understand those things we cannot change, and then move on. Rather use the saved energy on something more worthwhile and productive. This is not to say that you should complacently accept anything. If you truly desire change, you should work towards that change; but spending time worrying about something without actively working to change it is unproductive and damaging to your wellbeing.
- Take Responsibility For Your Choices: Everything that you do, or don’t do, is because of choices you make (or don’t make). It is easier and convenient to blame outside causes for things that go wrong in life, but your life is the sum of all the choices you make along the way—sometimes that choice it to let somebody else make a choice on your behalf. If you tend to blame other people or things, it may be scary to take responsibility for what happens in your life, but it is really quite liberating because instead of seeing yourself as an effect of outside forces, you realize you are the cause of everything good you achieve. Don’t abdicate responsibility for your life.
- Schedule Regular “Self Time”: Spend some time analyzing where you are in life, your strengths and weaknesses. How can you turn the latter into the former? Think about your views on everything from your job to global warming and the existence of aliens—then work out why you feel the way you do. Is your reasoning sound? The better you understand yourself, the better you understand the world.
- Make Time To Meditate: We spend almost all our time thinking of the past or planning for the future. We seldom spend time in the present. It has reached a point where, for most of us, it seems impossible to keep our focus on what is happening right now. Your meditation could be formal meditation or prayer, but it could be as simple as merely focusing on each breath as it goes in and out for five or ten minutes, dismissing past and future thoughts as they arise—and they will!
- Remove Your Limitations: When we fail, usually the reason is simply because we don’t believe we are able or worthy of whatever it is that we fail to achieve. Most often, this belief is actually false; the result of negative programming received since childhood. The truth is that most of us are able to do most of what we really want to do … you just have to believe. The best way to start is with small things, working your way up as you notice the limits dissolving.
The more successful you are at assimilating the concepts and processes described in these eleven points into your life, the more genuinely happy you will be, and the happiness will last!
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Find updated food pantries in Metro Detroit #motownmoxiemom
- Click here to find all the pantries in various zip codes: https://foodfinder.us/
- Click here to find updated food pantries in Metro Detroit https://www.foodpantries.org/ci/mi-detroit
- Food banks and free food pantries in Detroit as well as Wayne County, plus other services Click here
If you have an exclusive food giveaway event coming up, please leave in the comments.
Be Happy: Do Your Duty Happily without Attachment to its Results #MotownMom ☺
Happiness is not living in a fool’s paradise.
It is not living in oneself oblivious of outside world.
Life is not a bed of roses.
Here one has to struggle and fight for justice.
All our actions are with a view to some results. But often we fail to achieve that result. Sometime we get even opposite results than our expectations. For example, when we do a good turn to somebody and instead of being grateful to use the person accuses us. Failure in achieving our goal often leads us to unhappiness.
What is the solution to it?
Gita, the Hindu religious and philosophical text, which is perhaps the only religious book in the world that was delivered amidst battlefield, has a beautiful solution. It says,
“You have right to action only, never to its results; never be attached to the results of your actions; but don’t take to inaction also.” Gita (2.47)
How beautiful and unique!
In essence it teaches us that one should do one’s duty without being unduly concerned about its results. It does not mean that one should do whatever comes to one’s fancy without regard to its consequences. In fact, duty means prescribed duty. Its results cannot be undesirable. But the action may result in success or failure. We should not be unduly concerned with this. The cause of all unhappiness is thwarted desires. This does not teach us to be indifferent to the results of our actions and do them indifferently. It teaches us to do our best. If then the results are not as we had expected, we should have faith in God.
Mind you, all this preaching about detachment from the results of one’s action is being taught at the battle field of Mahabharat when a great war is just to be fought. This war is between cousin brothers, and near relatives are fighting on the opposing sides. Arjun has said that he did not want to fight a war in which he has to kill not only near relatives but elders and teachers. Krishna is trying to tell him that it is his duty to fight. The reward is a great kingdom. Yet Krishna is talking of fighting a war at the cost of dying or killing one’s near and dear, and yet doing so without attachment to its results!
Yet, if you come to think of it, it is the best theory about life. Attachment brings uncertainty, worry, and tension. In fact, this non-attachment to the results is very psychological too.
Too much worry about the results of our actions affects the latter negatively.
BE HAPPY!
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Support Habitat for Humanity Detroit (@habitatdetroit) by shopping at #Krogers & #Amazon | #motownmom
We wanted to make sure that you know that you can support HFHD through your regular shopping habits! As we move into the New Year, please make sure you are registered to support Habitat for Humanity Detroit through Amazon and Kroger so we can get the rewards. This is a very easy way to passively increase our revenue to support our programs. Please also share with your family and friends.
KROGER
You can support Habitat for Humanity Detroit just by shopping at Kroger when you enroll in the Kroger Community Rewards® program. Sign up and Kroger will make a donation to Habitat Detroit every time you shop and use your Kroger Plus Card. Please follow the steps below to register your Kroger Plus Card:
- To enroll your card go to KrogerCommunityRewards.com.
- Click “create an account”.
- Put in your email address and password. Confirm your password.
- Enter Kroger Plus Card number OR alt ID number.
- Go to Community Rewards (near bottom).
- Follow through the steps (name, address, etc.).
- Put in Habitat for Humanity Detroit or the group number (82334).
- Choose the correct organization.
- Click Enroll.
If you are having an issue with registering your card please call 1-800-KROGERS, press 5 for customer service, press 5 to speak to a customer service representative.
AMAZON SMILE
You can also support Habitat for Humanity Detroit just by shopping online at Amazon.
- Go to Smile.Amazon.Com and login with your Amazon credentials.
- In the search box for “Find Your Charity”, type Habitat for Humanity Detroit and select the correct organization.
- When you shop, go to Smile.Amazon.Com each time (Amazon will even remind you!) to have 0.5% of your purchase price donated to Habitat Detroit!
Habitat for Humanity Detroit | Office: 313-521-6691 | Cell: 248-914-3930
Become A Member of the Detroit People’s Food Co-Op #motownmom
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#detroitraised garden👩🏾🌾 diary 📑 | Week 14 of 2021 | Zone6 | #motownmom 🌱
So A lot has happened and I need to get some pictures outside to show the progress of the garden
Here’s what I’ve planted in the past weeks
More Potatoes (two more red bags)
And using my memory going around the garden I’ve planted :
(On the side of the porch)
Broccoli | Leeks | Onions (scallions) – 2 planters | Beans | eggplants | Chinesse lettuce, butterhead lettuce | gypsophila | paw paw
And then there are two new asparagus growing – one in the swan and the other in a large tub (love Dollar General)
(by the driveway )
Morning glory | purslane | Beans
Moving inside of the greenhouse there should be basil| dill, parsley and | thyme | more eggplant (but i think it’s dead)
Next to that is the Marigold, which the grass is starting to take over. Ugh…
Getting on the porch:
I’ve planted tulips, carrots, another eggplant (which seems to actually be growing) more leeks, garlic, ginger, beans and okra
Another set of lettuce and Chinese broccoli in white pans because I thought the initial stuff was going to die
On the side of the porch to the left
The corn, water, tomato seeds, squash, spearmint, mint, purple basil, green basil, more eggplant and zucchini, also the cucumbers (2 pots this year). More peas and beans are planted in between the corn and then I’m going to put more squash around the edges to keep the squirrel from getting to the corn when it grows up.
Next to the herb raised bed is the carrots and the Brussel sprouts but I’m fighting the grass in that bed.
You can kind of see that area next to the potato bag pictures
Update on the indoor ginger: It died. I don’t know what else to say. (but I’m growing two more so we’ll see)
And then there is my asparagus from last year. So happy
I was even able to a harvest which I’ll be eating today. The lettuce came from the green container from last year and it’s still growing!
I ordered Wild Creeping Thyme, sTevia, more purslane and Black Krim Heirloom Tomato. I might do some of the Wild Creeping Thyme and Stevia, but the rest I might wait until next year to plant these
I bought sage and another tomato plant today and I’ll try to take pictures for my next update
these are just extra pictures of the beans i was growing in dollar tree containers in the hosue and then planting them outside in various places
And finally, I’m learning how to grow an orchid. You DON’T put it in dirt.
They grow in wood chips, so I got them and I’ll be replanting my orchid in a larger container and having it grow some more hopefully.
I started my hydroponics garden in the house and then I still want to start my herbs inside the house too, so I’ll get you guys more pictures and an update soon.
I think that’s about it as an update for the garden diary. Let me know about your garden in Detroit or in an urban area.
An Article On Perfectionism – and it’s not perfect #MotownMom 💘🙌🏾
What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is defined as a meticulous drive to attain excellence. A perfectionist is one who has this characteristic.
‘Perfectionism’ is a most prevalent belief in our civilization. Notice that I used the word ‘belief’.
Everywhere in this world of ours, perfectionism is regarded as good and desirable while imperfection is deem as bad or negative. Everybody wants everybody else to be perfect. Bosses want their employees to be flawless on the job. Parents want their kids to be the best. Perfectionists want their work and themselves to be perfect.
Since it is so strongly regarded as being positive, is Perfectionism really an absolute or universal value? In my opinion, it is not so.
To me, it is relative and is born of human conception. Perfection is an idea. It is an idea of a perceived ideal state of affair. However, things are the way they are. For every circumstances, the truth is what is at each instance. Perfection and imperfection are therefore merely attached values.
I am not suggesting that perfectionism is not good. I am suggesting that perhaps perfectionism can cast a controlling net over our expression of happiness. One can reach the required goal with or without being a perfectionist. To be a perfectionist, on the other hand, leave very little room for one to accept and love oneself unconditionally when a desired goal is not met. And when our desires are not met, we feel unhappy or cannot be fully satisfied. However, the truth is we only have each moment of the Present Moment to live in. By being perfectionist, our mind will be forever planning and thinking about the future or lamenting about what went wrong in the past. Because of these tendencies, many perfectionists are unable to feel satisfaction because in their perception they never seem to do things good enough to warrant that feeling of contentment.
From this, we can see a paradox of life. That is:
“How can one have PERFECT peace, self-love and joy when one is a perfectionist? “
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Watch “Grocery store household staples reportedly set to increase | GMA” on YouTube #motownmom
Not just humans but prices on food for pets
Blame it on pandemic, limited supply chain, the February freeze and shipping troubles.
This is even peanut butter too
I’m growing a garden, bulking up when things are on sale and trying lower cost option and did planning
What are you doing to bring your food bills down?
Alone But Not Lonely #MotownMom 🤗💘
In today’s fast paced society, we’ve become accustomed to filling the eeriness of silence with fluff. We turn to many distractions as a means of escaping feelings of idleness or boredom. But the main thing we wish to elude is loneliness. Solitude does not have to alienating or lonesome. In fact, solitude and loneliness are distinctly separate.
The death of a loved one or the inability to find people who understand you can leave you feeling isolated. Webster’s dictionary plainly describes loneliness as “being without companions.” It’s natural to experience an emptiness while longing for love or acceptance. Loneliness is therefore an emotive state that can be experienced whether or not one is physically alone.
It was Geoffrey F. Fisher who said, “In cities no one is quiet but many are lonely; in the country, people are quiet but few are lonely.”
We tend to fill loneliness with all types of distractions. For example, some single women would rather spend a Friday night with a man they have no genuine interest in, than spend the night alone. They long for a way of killing time while they await the man they are actually seeking. Then there are young adults who are involved in cliques where they can’t really relate to their companions. However, they would rather feel accepted on a superficial level than risk feeling outcast. So what is it about being alone that scares us?
Do not be spooked by the unfamiliarity of silence. Silence can be an amazing thing. It teaches you how to truly listen. It teaches you to pay attention to what’s going on inside of you. Only when we are alone, can we have the space and peace we need to think without being outwardly influenced. It therefore becomes easier to make important decisions as well as identify whatever feelings are culminating within.
Get in touch with yourself so that you can make conscious decisions rather than simply react to emotions. Appreciate the time you have to yourself. Let the peace and understanding you find better equip you for the commotion of today’s world.
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